Resources recommended by our members
The National Council of Jewish Women Pregnancy Loss Support Program (PLSP Group). This is a support program that offers both counseling by phone and offers a group for couples who have experienced loss. It is facilitated by other parents who have lost babies who understand the shock and complications and grief in a way that only one who has had this loss can. They say that "we wish so much that we didn't have a reason to know each other, yet we are thankful for having met the group of people that saved us." At the very least, they have great resources on the site. Contact: (212) 687-5030 ext. 28. They have a very thorough document online that talks about the journey through grief, including rituals that honor your baby, helping other children cope with the loss, dealing with unhelpful people, and more.
Seleni Institute. This organization is dedicated to care and information for pregnancy and loss support. It offers in-person group sessions for pregnancy and stillborn loss. It also offers counseling for anxiety and depression centered around pregnancy. The Seleni Institute put together this article about how to get the support you need after a pregnancy loss. Read member reviews on the PSP website.
Motherhood Center. The Motherhood Center recognizes that becoming a mom isn't always easy. Sometimes there can be moments of joy, but there can also be moments when you feel anxious or sad. If you have these feelings sometimes or a lot of the time, you are not alone, it's not your fault, and you will feel better with the right help. The Motherhood Center provides supportive services for new and expecting moms, including a range of treatment options for women suffering from perinatal mood and anxiety disorders (PMADs.) Whether you are looking for a support group for new mothers, lactation consultation, individual therapy or more intensive services to help you feel better, The Motherhood Center offers something to every woman making the transition to parenthood. Staffed by experienced professionals, they take an interdisciplinary approach to tackling pre- and post-natal care, PMADs, and everything in between.
Mt. Sinai Bereavement Services. Mount Sinai offers bereavement services for families who need support at any time following a loss. Support groups are offered for individuals or couples dealing with stillbirth, miscarriage, and neonatal death, as well as for people who have had to terminate a wanted pregnancy. This falls under the auspices of Mount Sinai’s Perinatal and Pediatric Bereavement Support Program, which provides counseling, education, and support referrals for individuals, couples, and families.
Stephanie Moreno hosts sessions at MINKA focused on loss using reiki and creative therapy.
Modern Loss provides candid conversation about grief, including a section on miscarriage and stillbirth.
Ending a Wanted Pregnancy. "The website Ending a Wanted Pregnancy provides testimonials and advice for those who have had to face hard decisions about continuing a pregnancy. They also have a "secret" Facebook group for parents that you can sign up for through the site. It has been an invaluable resource for me and others in this community, so I wanted to share it."
Hope After Loss offers peer-to-support, outreach, and education for pregnancy and infant loss. Zoom support groups offered include a weekly “Pregnancy and Infant Loss” group, and a bi-weekly “Trying to Conceive/Pregnancy After Loss” group.
Miscarriage, Stillbirth, & Infant Loss Support forum via BabyCenter
This online support forum is a space where bereaved parents can share their stories and find community and compassionate support at any stage of their loss.
American Psychological Association has information about what you may be experiencing after the loss of a baby.
American Pregnancy Association has articles on surviving emotionally after a miscarriage, pregnancy after miscarriage, and more.
First Candle. Peer-to-peer online support groups that are a safe and supportive place for individuals and their families to share information and experiences surrounding pregnancy and infant loss.
Share Pregnancy & Infant Loss Support is a community for anyone who experiences the death of a baby - parents, grandparents, siblings, other family members, and professionals. Services include phone support, in-person group meetings, online resources and communities, and caregiver trainings.
Mending Hearts After Loss offers free programming for bereaved parents, designed by Dr. Tara May after the loss of her own daughter. This program provides bereaved parents with practical tools and reflection exercise to help bereaved parents create their personal path to healing.
Postpartum Support International offers live weekly phone sessions.
MSIL Group is the Miscarriages, Still Births, and Infant Death Support Group via BabyCenter.com.
#IHadAMiscarriage is an Instagram account by local therapist Jessica Zucker, Ph.D.
Pregnancy After Loss Support (PALS) is a 501(c)(3) non-profit organization and community support resource for women experiencing the confusing and conflicting emotions of grief mixed with joy during the journey through pregnancy after loss. PALS hosts local meetup support events once a month in Brooklyn, as well as has private groups on Facebook where you can connect with other loss mothers.
Public Health Solutions has a Virtual Bereavement Support Group, which is held in English and Spanish and allows grieving family members who experienced pregnancy, infant, or reproductive loss access to both peer and professional support free of cost and from the comfort of their own homes.
If you're interested in seeing a therapist or counselor, you can browse recommendations and reviews from PSP members for Grief Counselors and Individual Therapy and Counseling on the PSP website.
In Special Recognition of Fathers/Partners
It's important to acknowledge that loss impacts dads/partners as well. Many dads/partners suppress their own feelings of loss to console their partners. Also, the attention is most often focused on the mom and her feelings and grieving process. We need to remember the dads/partners as well.
Dads feel the heartbreak of miscarriage too, from Tommy's
We need to break the silence around men and miscarriage so fathers do not feel guilty for showing their grief.
Fathers suffer from pregnancy loss and still births, too, from the Washington Post
Tips for Men Whose Partner Has Had a Miscarriage, from Verywell Family
Miscarriages And Men: Dads Share The Emotional Effects Of Miscarriage, from Dadnatal
Grieving Dads offers blog posts, opportunities to share stories, a book, workbook, and in-person workshops. (This website was recommended by The Longest Shortest Time).
Ways to Commemorate a Loss
--Light a candle
--Go for walk in Prospect Park or Green-Wood Cemetery
--Wear a special piece of clothing or jewelry that reminds you of your baby (Etsy has lots of special gifts for miscarriage loss)
--Share your loss with a friend
--Plant a tree at Prospect Park (they will plant a sapling for you for $75)
--Write a poem, letter, or story about your baby
--Create some artwork (some people get a small tattoo)
--Meditate, pray, or sit quietly in a place that feels safe and welcoming.
--Make a donation to an organization of your choice in honor of your child
--October 15th, National Pregnancy and Infant Loss Remembrance Day: Honor your child by joining a local walk, or light a candle at 8pm EST
--Name a star for your baby
--Connect with other loss parents through social media in private loss groups (when/if you are ready)
--Write your baby's name (on a paper, in art, or even in the sand)
--Say your baby's name
--Designate an area in your home for pictures and keepsakes
--Attend a loss retreat to connect with your baby (Return To Zero)
Supporting a Friend
Pregnancy Loss Etiquette 101 from the Seleni Institute - what to do, and what NOT to do
Books and Articles
The Rules Do Not Apply, by Ariel Levy
Expecting Sunshine: A Journey of Grief, Healing, and Pregnancy After Loss, by Alexis Marie Chute
An Exact Replica of a Figment of My Imagination, by Elizabeth McCracken
About What Was Lost: Twenty Writers on Miscarriage, Healing, and Hope
Why these moms decided to share their pregnancy losses on social media - via Parents Today
Mizuko Kuyo: Japan’s Powerful Pregnancy Loss Ritual
Grieving a Miscarriage: An Illustrated Discussion - via The New York Times
The Japanese Art of Grieving a Miscarriage - via The New York Times
Just an Ordinary Miscarriage, from the New York Times
From a PSP member: "Motherlode’s 'Just an Ordinary Miscarriage' last week made me realize that helping us all be mindful of miscarriage can be helpful to our parenting community. As the article says: 'It’s not an easy topic, or one that slips gracefully into casual conversation, but every time we name it, we add to the growing sense of awareness that not every pregnancy ends in a joyful birth, and increase our understanding of our own biology and limitations.'"
People Have Misconceptions About Miscarriage, And That Can Hurt, from NPR
Excerpts from the article:
- "Between 15 and 20 percent of clinically recognized pregnancies end in miscarriage, defined as a pregnancy loss earlier than 20 weeks of gestation. (Pregnancy loss after that point is called a stillbirth.)”
- “Over and over again, we heard a wish that there was more private and public discussion of miscarriage.”
- “One person who recently suffered a miscarriage summed it up: "While I'm definitely still healing emotionally, I would be happy to talk more about it. So many people grieve silently, but I've found that talking really helps the most."”
Podcasts
Mamamia - Love, Loss and Empty Arms
