As the original poster writes:
"I am considering a nanny to be with us only on Fridays when my parents are not around to babysit our 15 month curious and active boy. We seem to have found a good nanny who comes recommended. She recently asked if she can bring her 23 month old boy with her so she can have him with her instead of daycare. In place of this, she's also offered to lower her hourly rate which is on the high side.
I'm wondering if any other families have tried this out where the nanny brings her child to the home. Would love any advice on below!
- Is this a good idea or not? Would it be too much for the nanny to care fairly for both kids. I have no idea what the needs of a 23 month old are if that will be too much with my 15 month old.
- What should we consider if we decide to proceed with this. Has anyone tried this out? it's only for 1 day per week
- Also, what's a fair rate for us to consider given that she's bringing her child?"
Here are the replies:
"I think it sounds ideal! I have a 23 month old and she's in daycare a few days a week and she loves the group exposure. Your kids would probably develop a great play relationship. 15 months will soon start taking and playing even better together."
"A few thoughts:
- It's hard to find a good nanny for one day a week, so if you like her and have a good feeling about her, I would try to keep her
- I think your 15 month old and her 23 month old will be fine together. Learning how to interact with other kids is a great thing, and it's only one day a week.
- I'm less concerned with there being a 23 month old there, and more concerned with it being your nanny's 23 month old. Want to be sure that she provides equal attention to your baby as her own."
"Over the past few weeks, our nanny has been bringing her 2.5 year old child to work with my 2.5 year old daughter one day a week. It is supposed to be a temporary arrangement, but my daughter (who is very social) has made it clear that she prefers it when the nanny bring her daughter. So we are thinking of making it a permanent solution. I should mention that our nanny has been caring for my daughter since she was 4 months old, so I did not have to worry about whether having her daughter around would impact her ability to bond with my daughter, etc.
We haven't figured out if/how this will affect pay. We did, however, have to borrow a double-stroller from a neighbor, so that is a consideration."
Here's what a nanny shared in the PSP Nanny Survey:
"Employers need to stop being fake with nannies by saying you are part of our family. And I cannot even bring my 13 yrs old with me to work on a spring break"
More advice from a related question on a diferent group:
"Our nanny regularly brings her daughter and sometimes her grandson. It was not something we had discussed during the interview either but evolved naturally. She first asked to bring her daughter (then 12 years old) when I asked our nanny to come an evening or weekend day and then gradually she has come more frequently. Her daughter and grandson are very polite and I do not mind at all having them around (mostly she brings only her daughter). Our daughter absolutely loves it when they come. As Christine said, kids this age love copying/learning from older kids more than from adults and it is fun for them to have an extra playmate. I actually find that it is often a bonus. Our nanny has more time to prepare food, do some tidying or some other household tasks when her daughter is around because her daughter plays with our child. I have never felt that our nanny bringing her daughter has taken away from the care that our daughter has gotten (which of course is the primary concern). Depending on what your nanny's child is like, you may find that it is a bonus too - the 8 year-old can play with your older child and the nanny has more time to give some extra attention to the baby."
"My nanny brings her daughter 'M', about the same age as your nanny's son, in the summer, and its fantastic. She started doing it when E was 1yo, and the two kids instantly clicked. It was a lot easier for everyone (me, nanny and my daughter), because M & E got along so well. There are things that E was much more open to learning - and faster - when a 'big kid' taught her than when an adult tried to teach her. The topic also didn't come up during the interview or at all until a few weeks prior, and it was fine.
I will say, though, that M was signed up for a summer camp / day program some of the time, although I didn't mind at all having M over."
"My nanny is planning to do the same this summer with her 4 year old son. The past two summers she brought him over once or twice but this summer she is planning to bring him more often. Brooke loves it and always asks about him. They're like family so it's not an issue for us. My nanny also has back up child care any time she can't bring him (like the days when Brooke has a class or if she is running behind schedule).
We also didn't discuss this arrangement when we hired her. This is likely the last summer we have our nanny so the idea was to have the kids spend as much time together before Brooke begins preschool in the fall."
And more from an August 2021 thread:
"A few things to consider:
1 - Many folks hire a nanny for the 1:1 attention they want their child to receive. Since my kiddo was (and remains) and only child, I was in favor of all the additional faux sibling exposure time he could get. Should've done a nanny share but this was long enough ago that it wasn't that common yet. If you are open to your child playing with another kid, maybe there's a silver lining in this for you.
2 - Another bonus is that your nanny won't be under the gun to dash out the door to get to their daycare in time at the end of the day so that may be helpful for you, too (that flexibility is one of the reasons why we chose a nanny over daycare)."
"What a lovely thing you're doing for your nanny, allowing her to bring her infant to work. She must be so appreciative. How old is your child? I didn't see that and it occurred to me that having an infant there some days might be either a lovely social experience for your baby or young child - or a pain depending on the dynamics/ages. But for me one day vs. 2 days wouldn't be a big difference and I've heard at least one lovely story about a nanny and the 2 kids having a great time together. look it's a tough time to be an employer or employee (or nanny) right now, but if your nanny is good with your kid, vaccinated, otherwise great, and you're game, it could be win/win. Not sure if I'd ding her too much on salary though, especially if it's a short-term situation and (again) if it's win/win.
One thing to consider is, i guess, COVID risk - if she's vaccinated, but her baby obviously can't be, and assuming you're vaccinated and your kid isn't, are they going to pod and how much risk does the nanny take on, where your kid and her kid could potentially be exposure risks for each other. It might be fine, and if you were game for 1 day/week anyway, another 1-2 days makes no difference really. but it's worth having the conversation to the extent that COVID podding is an issue, with younger kids."
"I don't have direct experience with this specific request but we had a clause in our nanny agreement that she could bring her child in case of emergency. I will say given the astronomical cost of childcare and the relatively low wages of caregivers like nannies and day care workers, I am surprised this doesn't come up more often."
"I have had a similar experience. If she is good with your child and everything else is working, as long as her child being there doesn't reduce the quality of your child's care, I say you go with it. Don't reduce her pay. Child care is insanely expensive (as you know first-hand) and a good caregiver is priceless. Be good to her and she will likely be good to you.
...
For us, I felt annoyed and concerned at times early on, but six years later we are so lucky to still have the same wonderful caregiver and to have a close relationship with her family that has benefited my kids and I tremendously."
"What are your concerns with your childcare provider bringing their infant to work? If some of your answer includes 'you don't bring your kids to work' I'd like to challenge that, especially if she is breastfeeding. I can't tell you the number of times when I had to go back to work when my daughter was 3 months old that I thought if only I could bring her with me.
I think if there are specific concerns you have about her bringing her child you could address them and have a written agreement about. I think kids benefit so much from being with kids who are different ages, I can't tell you how much my son has grown since he became an older sibling."
"If it's helpful to hear about similar experiences, my nanny's son is a year younger than my oldest (who is 4), and while he's in full-time daycare now he's accompanied her to work on and off over the years--occasionally for a day here or there, but sometimes for a weeks at a time. Things are of course a bit more chaotic with the extra kid, but our nanny can handle it, and the major positive over the years has been the additional socialization; not only an additional friend/playmate for my daughter, but practice sharing toys and attention which--aside from the general benefits to her social/emotional development--set her up well for a having a sibling. My daughter and my nanny's son have grown up together and *love* each other (my daughter has his picture taped to the wall next to her bed!) and these days both my kids lose their minds with excitement when he comes over. While I see the logic in paying a reduced rate if your nanny brings her child, I didn't consider this because 1) our nanny doesn't accompany her on a consistent schedule; and 2) I'm aware that paying for childcare while working as a childcare provider means the margins can be slim.
I do think it's worth considering what is most important to you in your childcare arrangement (whether it's 1:1 attention, flexibility, making things work with your specific nanny, etc.) and ultimately basing your decision on that."
"Honestly, I loved having my former babysitter bring her daughter. She and my son played and I had the peace of mind that she was spending time with the kids like an attentive parent would, rather just checking out on her phone. My current babysitter also brings her son sometimes, and she's really on top of things, and it works out great. She doesn't have to rush off, and can come really early if needed, and doesn't call out because her own childcare fell through.
On the flip side, I teach privately and the family I worked with last year allowed me to bring my son, which was a godsend. The toddlers I worked with were amazing and nurturing and I saw a whole new side to them when the baby was with me. If I'd had to pay for childcare I wouldn't have been able to afford to work--I would just have been busting my butt for nothing. It was exhausting to teach with an infant strapped to me for two hours, but it helped me pay my bills and fulfill my pre-child commitments, and it was such a cool experience to see the kids I worked with become totally new people, trying to 'teach' and 'take care of' my little one. It was a growing experience for them in ways I hadn't anticipated."
Related questions about the nanny relationship:
Maternity Leave for a Nanny: What to do When Your Nanny is Pregnant
Nanny and Foul Weather Days: What is the Right Thing To Do?
Nanny Perks: Working Out While on the Job
Disclaimer: This post has been written for educational purposes only by Park Slope Parents and is not meant to be legal advice and should not be construed as legal advice or be relied upon. The post may contain errors, inaccuracies and/or omissions. We recommend checking with a professional for specific advice.
