Original Poster:
"We are very happy to be blessed with two healthy babies that were conceived though IVF after a long battle with infertility. I am starting to think that in the future they may get teased at school for being IVF twins. I think that people often guess and assume that twins are often the result of some artificial reproductive technology. Which is the case for us.
I am not ashamed of how I conceived my babies. I am actually very proud of everything I endured and how we prevailed to finally have these two wonderful babies.
I am concerned that our children may be made feel abnormal or wrong by others just because of the way they were conceived.
How can I equip them with information so they know how much they were loved before they arrived? How can I explain to a child the science and technicalities about IVF so they understand how they came to this world? Any children's book recommendations? I thank everyone for reading my post and for sharing your loving wisdom."
Replies:
IVF is not uncommon anymore:
"As a fellow IVF parent, I just want to add that IVF and other methods of fertility treatments are much less unusual those days, especially here in NYC where it is common to wait longer to have children. That wasn't exactly my story, and may not be yours either, but just know that you and your kids are certainly not alone in this. :)"
There is no normal:
"I think it's like anything else--you just start telling the kid from the get-go. When recounting his life story, we've always said that when we wanted to have a baby scientists (or a doctor) helped. I also sometimes add that not everybody needs a scientist's help, but we did, and we were so lucky to have it! It's just another fact in his little life story, like "we lived in New Jersey until you were 2, then we moved here."
I think it is also a great opportunity for them to learn that there is no one "normal" way for a child to come into a family.
Why should IVF even be considered weird?
"Hi, although I don't know if I have any answers to your question, and certainly don't feel qualified to offer any, I had to respond to this post because I wanted to help create more "noise" attesting to the fact that there are a lot of us who feel that IVF is not weird at all!! I have several friends who have conceived this way, and they too feel like their children may be judged, but they shouldn't! I certainly hope we have come a long way from that time and that perception. I'm curious what kind of experiences you have that make you feel this way...? What can/should people be doing to make you and your children feel more accepted?
I'm not sure if I'm just being naive, or folks who went through IVF are very sensitive to comments and feedback around them, but I want to be one more voice in your ear letting you know that there are a lot of us who couldn't care less about that and hope you do whatever you need to in order to have the family you deserve. If anything, I hope that IVF parents share their experiences and inspire others struggling to get pregnant so that they feel less alone. Getting pregnant and having kids and raising kids is hard, and we should all stop pretending like it's a breeze and like there is some "normal" version that we should all be aspiring to! Every family is different; every baby is different; and that is okay.
